shikei

2007-03-15T01:10:00.000+08:00

some people just cant get their facts right.
i mean, why cant they just keep their noses out of my business.
from my perspective, i've chosen the most rational route.
and i must say, no matter how difficult it was to take that step.
it was truly the right decision.

i was shocked and appalled that some people actually would stoop to such a level to get information.
and even worse, someone else could spew out such sensitive matters to a 'friend' that was only made a few days ago.
yet it had happened.
you chose to let everything be known to this someone,
without seeing the underlying reason why that someone tried to get close to you in the first place.

i know it's all part of your brilliant scheme to make me look bad.
and your wonderful skill of provoking me had not gone unnoticed.
it was disgusting how you dug your way into this matter.
which did not concern you at all.
however, you said it was all your business.
as you became 'friends', days after it had ended.

it's heartbreaking to see someone like you,
who had put on such a goody-goody mask.
turn around and try to provoke me,
when you couldnt even get your facts right.
as others had said,
i need not give an explanation to you.
firstly, because you have no right to be involved.
and secondly, i had not done anything that has betrayed my conscience.
yet would one stop to think of the consequences if i had chosen the other option.

i'm profoundly worried about the skill of your english.
from what little facts you had gathered.
you chose to use the word 'bully',
when it was completely out of context.
i believe whatever i done had gone way past the limit.
that was why i stopped and pondered over it.

anything i do now would be deemed wrong to you,
as you would never make impartial judgements on my actions.
but i urge you to stop and think about the situation,
coming to me would not solve whatever problem you have right now.

the only problem you ever had was me.
so please come and try to settle it with me.
instead of using other matters and dumping them onto me.
get over it already.
we're all grown up young adults.
quit acting like a small kid.

2007-03-07T23:11:00.000+08:00

argh.
i'm having 1sb9 withdrawal symptoms!
boohoo.

i never expected myself to get so attached to 1sb9.
i still rmb the day i dreaded.
leaving my og to join the classes.
but now...
argh.
sb9 rocks damn it.

i miss the random trash the class pple start shouting.
i miss the singing with enshen and jeremy lim.
i miss playing taiti in the bleaches and trying not to get caught.
i miss going to the cafe after swim pe.
i miss the whole class getting scolded for not doing work.
i miss playing lan every tuesday.
i miss ponning chem lectures every friday.
i miss eating seaweed during lessons
i miss the mass passing of sweets
i miss 1sb9.

AHHH.
i pray that all those who have appealled back will be successful.
damn i feel emo.
this sucks seriously.

in chinese. enshen is sitting on my lap while matthew is hiding behind me.
gp. i wanted to put the whole class with our form teacher.
but the pic was blur. so i'll wait until i get a good one

2007-03-06T23:15:00.000+08:00

hmm ok.
i shall update for once.
haha.
went to ac with lanz today.
to pei all the fairsians there who are appealing in.
really hope all my fmss friends would be able to make it in.

after, went down to marina sqaure for seoul gardens with 1sb9.
it's so sad that we're gonna be seperated
as some are leaving the school,
and others leaving the class.
hope we'll continue to keep in contact.
3 mths passed pretty fast.
and i'm glad i'm still in ac.

we played abit of pool and i went down to holland.
went to raechelle's house and played some games.
haha. i realised,
my childhood like nvr play such games one.
now at least we have more games for 2nd orientation!
haha.
went to adam's road for dinner
and crossed over to island creamery for ice-cream

well. pae is over and jae has just began.
gonna miss all those who are leaving ac.
hmm.
i got pics to upload.
but i'm too lazy now.
will do it sometime soon.
heh.

2007-02-17T09:44:00.001+08:00

yawns

2007-02-16T06:06:00.000+08:00

argh. i woke up too early. haha.
chinese new year celebrations are today.
so there's no lessons. yay!
damn bored now.

ok. i'm kinda hooked to 'how to save a life'
yes lanz. stop laughing.
finally i came to the realization that it is nice
haha.

i shall stop crapping.
my brain's still not functioning properly now.
Zzz.

2007-02-11T21:06:00.000+08:00

everyone. please pray for caleb.
his whole crumpler bag got stolen today.
SLR, ipod and all.
it's really heartbreaking.

but caleb. if you're reading this.
i wanna tell you that the way you handled it was really amazing.
even though you were sad and frustrated,
you handled it like a man of God.
if that were me,
i would have probably sweared non-stop.
it really encouraged me.
and i respect you even more now,
as my CM and friend.

2007-02-09T23:50:00.000+08:00

THANK YOU GOD!
i'm so happy.
for those who havent heard.
i've got 8 points for my O levels.
and it's all really by His grace.
i was sick during the O levels period
and i really prayed for the concentration to pull through.
truly, it wasnt by my own human effort.
but by my great God's.

i still havent really accepted the fact that i scored so amazingly well.
and that my bio was actually an A1.
i hated bio so much.
now i might have to reconsider.

i'm also grateful to the teachers
and my great friends.
i cant wait to enter ACJC again for JAE.

2007-02-06T21:00:00.000+08:00

i cant believe it.
aint first three months supposed to be slack?
whoever's the idiot who said it was play play only.

well. at least i've done what i wanted to.
make friends.
my class simply rocks. 1sb9.
although the guys outnumber the girls 3:1.
the guys are damn fun to be around.

tmr's cross country.
not really looking forward to it.
turf city. goodness.
not again.
i dont want to feel like a horse again.

my gosh. o level results.
this friday. they're giving me like 4 hours?
to walk from acjc to fmss. wonderful.
gotta spend the time worrying anxiously.
i really hope i've done well.
i pray that these butterflies would just leave.
and i'll commit this all into the Lord's hands.
i dont want to spend my week worrying away.

2007-01-29T23:03:00.000+08:00

ok. i shall update since people are complaining this place is dead.
hmm. i shall blog about memorable events of the past week.

22nd Jan
had cambodia dinner for ranen's farewell.
well. he left for aust already
and i'll be sure to catch up with him when he gets back.
check out how much he'll change and all haha.
went citylink's newyork newyork and spent like 30 bucks?
the bill came up to about $240. amazing right?

23rd Jan
DAVID CHOO'S BIRTHDAY.
haha. david, lester, keith, caleb, lanz, kenneth and i
met up for dinner at taka. some weird place.
chilled there awhile and then went down to cine.
played pool there till about 10pm.
it was fun to just hang out late though there was school the next day.
something i havent done in awhile.

26th Jan
ahh. balrog bbq.
go all the way to kelvin's house at hougang.
damn far sial.
but it was fun to gather the whole balrog together again.
even though it rained and all.
had alot of fun from watching prison break to chatting
and the DRINK that got me so high.
kelvin, jeanwoon and huihong would have seen me in that mad state.

27th Jan
had camy training in the morning.
after that. rushed down to orchid country club at yishun
to meet joel and the rest
played paintball! WOO!
damn fun. played 4 rounds.
won 2 lost 2. haha. quite balanced teamings i guess.
joel was damn zai. roll here roll there
kena shot the most also cause he damn hiong.
met david at ps after that for a a quick bite
and a short game of LAN.

i guess i'll really miss joel once he leaves.
i'm truely thankful to God for placing joel as my cm in sec 1-2.
although i gave him a hell of a time.
but he has really helped me to grow alot.
i'll really miss him alot.

2007-01-18T21:22:00.000+08:00

alright. i decided i should update.
since my blog seems so.. dead.

just reached home from the airport not too long ago.
had a rather interesting day.
after school, a few of us from balrog
went to marina square for lunch.
spent an awful long time there before heading down to the airport.
it's quite sad. i only got to know rachel for about 2 weeks?
and she has left already.

anyway,
i've heard some comments that have really got me thinking.
they say i give an impression of a beng.
and someone actually said i dont seem like a christian.
i mean, it's really sad to hear such things
but it makes me wonder.
how am i living my life?
am i living as a good testimony onto His name?
really want to thank jean woon though.
she has really encouraged me as a fellow sister in Christ.
and my prayer is to change to be more like the one whom i worship.

2007-01-13T19:37:00.000+08:00

alright. this is gonna be a random photo post.

my ac og. balrog. we kicked ass.

isi'06 at watchnight.

this was taken a long time back.
the group of us that went for planetshakers.

some of the 4F pple who went for supper after our bbq

my 4F clique at suki sushi during my birthday last year.
boy, i miss them alot.

2007-01-08T18:54:00.000+08:00

alright.
this is the long awaited
AC ORIENTATION post.

heh heh.
well. i shant really blog about it much in detail.
but hell was it fun!
rolling around in mud.
playing crazily stupid but fun games.
and having the BEST OG.

well. i'll list out the top 3 things i remember most about the orientation.

1. Kenneth's House.
boy was it fun.
we took 5 cabs down to his house
(my cab got lost)
and played mahjong and pool
while the others were watching "Brotherhood"
some sick korean show.
and kenneth leading us through the forest route.
where tim stepped on dog poop.
and we climbed out into the petrol kiosk where the uncle stared in disbelief
as 20 pple climbed out.
after, the calling of cabs to the
reaching school late together while cheering on our way back.

2. Mass Dance.
heh. my partner must hate me.
but all the practices seemed fun.
esp doing the girls part!
hahahaha.

3. Mud Roll.
yes, how could i forget.
WE WON THE GAME.
but we did the forfeit as well.
rolling in the muddy field.
and the wonderful vincent saying
'it's too dry' and splashing a whole pail of water on the mud.

alright. some last words about the orientation.
i feel really blessed to be placed in such a sporting and fun group.
and i'm really grateful to the OGLs for giving us such a wonderful experience.

2007-01-01T03:00:00.000+08:00

happy new year!
first things first.
i sprained my wrist.
smart right?
haha.
please pray for a speedy recovery for me.

anyway.
i'm not gonna write resolutions this year.
after all.
i never ever kept them.

now just some shoutouts to people who have helped me through 2006.

lanz:
hey bro. just really thankful to have a friend like you.
and 2007 marks our 11th year of friendship.
even if our paths have to split.
i really pray that we would still remain close.
rely on his strength. we cant do it alone.
and i'm catching on on your accident proneness.

caleb:
i feel that this year has really brought us closer.
with all the events such as rhema,
christmas party and leaders' retreat.
it's great to see you use your passion for God.
like music and photography.
let's have fun in camy. heh.

davidchoo:
hahah. we're stuck together again!
taking sec 1s together and also camy!
it's been really fun playing the guitar with you for worship
although i'm still so noob.
lets commit all our ministries into God's hands
and pray that we'll pull through this together.

keith:
another one stuck with us with sec 1s.
haha. thanks for the gift man.
it was in my lousy vocab "damn nice"
haha. as what i said to david.
commit it in His hands

mel ong:
thanks. for the millioneth time.
i pray that God will guide us both
as we take on different responsibilities.
continue to burn for Him and serve him wholeheartedly.
i'm sure He has great plans for you.

sam:
SAM! haha.
thanks for the socks xD.
yeah. our 10 day thing was fun la.
got to know you much better this year.
let's jam soon! i buay tahan liao.
all the best in hwa chong you smart crap.

adora:
hey laolao.
even though we had our down times.
i'm thankful to have met you.
your prayers have continuously empowered and encourage me.
and dont worry.
i'll set a good example to the sec ones.
i know it'll be difficult.
but i pray that He will help me,
and that i remember that i'm doing so cause i love Him,
so i want to glorify his name.

janice:
hello, lousy woman driver.
haha. i still cant believe you didnt at least
JAM break.
i thought that was the common reflex action?
anyway. yeah.
even though i insult you alot.
like ALOT ALOT.
i still love you as a sister.
and i'll be praying that you'll continue to grow in Him.

jessie:
hi kiddo.
it's been nice knowing you.
stop stalking me ok?
haha.
anyway. it's fun bullying you.
and i got treat you nicely lor.
sometimes.

amanda liu:
hello.
you're mad. and i mean it in a nice way
haha. keep being your high and crazy self.
it brings humour and laughter into the lives of others
heh.

hoho:
had fun in the girl's toilet?
hahaha. dont be too sad.
your blur personality is seriously funny.
oh yeah. you get too uptight about games.
sometimes we have to play graciously too.

kenneth yeo:
ahh. one of the people that aided in starting me in dota.
haha. it's been a good year.
and you've already seen so many sides of me.
it's been fun even we all go out and chill
too bad i couldnt join you guys for the supper now.
so sway have to sprain my wrist.

pearlyn:
although i only got to know you a month ago.
talking to you has been fun.
since you're always online at last hours.
you're like the only one i can crap to in the middle of the night.
keep dancing for the glory of God!
keep rocking!

daniel soh:
thanks for all your crap man!
haha. it has brought much happiness to my life.
once again.
thanks for dinner that night.
the fellowship was really fun
and the food was really good.
haha. all the best!

russell hung:
your attitude of service has been a great encouragement to me.
i'm thankful for having a brother like you in ISI.
and you're the only sec 3 that attends service regularly.
i pray that God will share your burdens in 2007
as you take your O levels.
have fun with lanz and your new CM. HAH.

lingzhi:
although i only known you for like 2 weeks.
i'm thankful that that day at the ropes course,
you so happened to turn and introduce yourself to me.
you have such a caring personality.
making everyone around you feel so special.
haha.
i'll keep you in prayer,
and i'm sure God will do a miracle in your life
and in your family.

to everyone else that i've missed out.
i still love you.
wish everyone a blessed new year.

2006-12-31T00:29:00.000+08:00

today's the last day of 2006.
and now i'm remembering all the bittersweet memories of the year.
haha.
just have to hope next year will be a better one.
joey said this to me,
and i really want to claim it.
"josh, i think 2007 will be a year of breakthrough for you.
i'm praying that you'll rise to the occasion and rise to the challenges ahead!"
anyway.
i shall blog about friday and today.

friday
went out with adora and lanz.
ate at pizza hut.
then went shopping.
shocked adora.
cause amazingly,
lanz and i can shop more than her
hahaha.
and only she didnt buy anything the whole day.
damn funny.
after that.
lanz and i made our way down to parc oasis
for 4f bbq.
didnt really eat much for the bbq.
but ended up dunking a hell lot of pple in the pool.
and in the end i joined in the fun and jumped in myself.
haha.
we went to clementi macs for supper.
and took NR home.
i'm shocked NR stops at my house's busstop
i stayed here for 11 years,
and i never knew la.

saturday
had cm training in the morning.
carried the classical guit to church.
my e-string came out loose.
so i had kinda a tough time putting it back
practiced awhile with lanz
and when david reached.
one of his strings had snapped.
funny the way both guitars had problems.
at least the worship went kinda well.

alright.
gonna sleep now.
so tmr can party after watchnight service.
haha.
goodnight all.
and WISHING EVERYONE AN AMAZING 2007.
lets all have a blast!

2006-12-29T02:37:00.000+08:00

WHAT A FUN DAY.
haha.
i was ON time to reach paris ris.
unlike everyone else.
so. we were leaving pasir ris.
and hoho went to the toilet.
he came out saying 'the rest arent inside. the toliet's empty'
and finally.
it dawned upon him that he had entered the WRONG toilet.
luckily no one was inside.
at downtown east.
it started raining.
so we ended up cycling.
even in the heavy rain
so we couldnt see a thing since water kept entering our eyes.
and lanz toh crashed into some pole and had a wonderful injury.
how lanz like.
haha.

after that.
went to marina south to eat steamboat.
daniel soh treat.
thanks bro.
had a really fun time of chatting and eating
hah.
played abit of arcade after that.
i should play outrun.
it's quite fun.
and i'm GOOD at it
haha.

played some isketch just now with some other ragers.
was damn funny la.
kept laughing.
alright then.
gonna go sleep now.

2006-12-27T01:14:00.000+08:00

went to the cathay today.
watched the holiday with joel chan, lanz and david.
had a good time la.
havent hanged out with joel for a long time
our sec 1-2 cm.
the one that managed to tolerate all my nonsense at that time.
and helped me to change to be who i am now.
cant believe he's leaving soon.
anyway. played lan.
$3.50 for 2 hours.
some promotion
and the coms were like damn zai.
razer mouse and keyboard la.
haha.
caleb met us for dinner.
ate carls jr.
was super full after that.
as usual when i eat there.

cant believe school's starting soon.
argh.

2006-12-25T13:07:00.000+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!
this year was probably the best christmas for me.
why? cause i actually bought gifts!
haha.
as i give presents i get this really warm feeling.
i guess maybe thats the spirit of giving.
and receiving presents from friends is just so heart-warming
to know that i'm actually remembered.

i kinda just woke up.
went to g2 to stayover there.
it was really funny,
as my dad fetched lanz and i down to g2 at like 11:58pm.
so the moment we got out of the car,
we dashed up to lvl 4 chapel and...
WE MADE IT JUST IN TIME FOR THE COUNTDOWN.
played a crazy load of captains' ball in the chapel.
explains the abrasions on my knees from all the falling down.

TODAY'S THE LORD'S BIRTHDAY.
i'm truely thankful for this day.
if not for this glorious day,
we couldnt be saved.

2006-12-21T22:00:00.000+08:00

okay. my christmas list is kinda finished.
so i'm quite satisfied.
but i only finished my 'church' list
and not the 'school' one.
quite broke anyway.

today went down to ac with jacq to appeal.
my chances are quite slim.
like what the guy said
'no point appealling to change stream'
but since i was there already might as well just try.
after that went down to holland swensens with jacq and nick to eat.
then bought some chirstmas gifts there. heh.
met caleb after that and went to heeren.
bought somemore gifts then met jessie and her friend annabel.
and we went down to cine and met jessie the stalker again.
took a train to peninsular to buy picks and caleb's camera stuff and slacked at funan's foodcourt.
drinking $1.30 teh ping.
went to fareast subway to have dinner with jessie and annabel
THEN. OMG.
MET JACQ AND ENSHAO.
while i was having dinner

interesting day eh? haha.
cant wait for christmas.

2006-12-19T22:24:00.000+08:00

i'm back from leaders' retreat
it was great.
had a really fun time with all the activities
esp the rafting.
haha.

i guessed i also learnt alot from the retreat
and i've enjoyed the time of fellowship as well.

after the retreat.
went to ps with kenneth, lester, van and lingzhi
watched eragon.
it's like. the worst show EVER.
i felt it was terribly boring where every scene was either in a forest, or on a hill.
and the storyline was damn jialat also.
like what lester said.
"5 out of 500 stars"
chilled at starbucks after the show.
even after drinking my coffee.
i found it hard to keep awake.
so i left early to come home to sleep.

PEOPLE.
I'M FREE FROM WEDS TO FRI.
PLEASE BOOK ME.
THANKS.

2006-12-19T00:53:00.000+08:00

sam is hot. (:

okay nevermind.

JOSH GOT HIS BASS.

now he can leave it at my place..

and we can jam.

x)

2006-12-16T20:26:00.000+08:00

well. had cm training this morning.
went down to sweelee after that and...
I BOUGHT MY BASS
yeah yeah

aint it SWEET.
heh heh.

yesterday went out with lanz,aaron and tiff
went to marina square.
so we bought super late birthday presents for lanz and tiff
bought tiff some surfer girl shorts
and bought lanz a ripcurl bag.
which lanz regretted soon after -_-.
haha. i got a pair of asics sneakers.
really like it.
but i dont think i'll wear it so soon.

2006-12-14T00:29:00.000+08:00

Rhema is over.
and i wanna take some time before i sleep to thank some people
for helping me thru this conference.
even though they might never see this

The 4 sec2s(Joel, Ernest, Alex, Kahwee) and Grace
Thanks for reporting on time for the services
although it's early in the morning.
You guys will be taking on more responsibility next year
So i hope this conference has helped you.

Keith, David and Daniel Soh
Thanks for doing the videos and helping me take over
Whenever i'm busy or down and out.
Really appreciate your help.

Caleb.
Thanks for always helping in visual although you're also involved in CAMY.
Even though there were problems with the video.
Like you said, "We tried"

Lanz.
My best brother.
You had PA and Visual.
You never had a chance to sit through a single service fully.
And not once did I see you complain.

Russell.
I'm truely grateful to you dude.
You came down specially on the most jialat service to help.

Visual Team.
It wouldnt have been possible without you guys.

Minyang.
Thanks for encouraging me over and over again
and being so understanding all the time.
You even helped when your workload was probably much more than ours.

Mel Ong.
I could always count on you to hear my childish rantings.
You'd always lent a listening ear when i needed one.
Thanks alot.

Adora.
That prayer you said for me really left an impact on me.
Amazingly. Whatever you said in that prayer,
was what i needed most at that point of time.

Joel Tay.
When i needed a prayer the most.
You were there and it really helped me alot.
It got me back up onto my feet again to keep going.

and lastly

The Rhema Conference Committee
Thank you for rhema.

2006-12-04T01:28:00.000+08:00

mhmm. say blog as a sunday.
had cell at macs today.
woke up awfully late today. about 925.
so rushed down to macs la.
blah blah.
regional date is changed to 15th.
so i guess i cant go.

anyway. have you heard about tan kim hock?
he's damn pro la.
learn more about him at
yeah. haha

had lunch after service at far east subway.
about 16 of us.
damn sian nothing to do la.
and i was quite tired also.
kinda really wanted to go home
but didnt wanna be a wet blanket.
yeah. so stayed. but i really couldnt take it anymore.
and the bus took a long time to come as well.
not a good day la.
just pray tommorow will be better.

hope rhema passes by faster.

2006-11-29T20:24:00.000+08:00

in church now.
on my mum's ibook

for the past few days since saturday
i've seen sam EVERYDAY.
sat - sec 4 cms training
sun - church / lunch at great world
mon - arcade/dinner at ps
tues - his house/ dinner at jp
today - camy

power right??
disgusting.

anyway got dragged down to g2 today
caleb la. say do video
end up do nothing
so fun right?
i wanna go home and play dota -_-

2006-11-23T23:40:00.000+08:00

yawns.
i'm at ngo's house.
had a wonderful solo night walk just now -_-
haha
all the idiots are downstairs watching movies
and ong, ngo, yz and i are up here playing com.
ok. more like ong is playing hero.
gonna stay over here until saturday when i have to rush down to church

yesterday was so fun.
cambodia outing
go sentosa then rain.
sian.
then we watched step up at vivo.
10pm show.
and gv played the WRONG show.
they played james bond
cool eh?
so they had to shift us out to the next theatre.
one row by one row.
step up was good though.
quite a nice movie.

ok back to the stayover.
goodnight peeps.

2006-11-18T07:09:00.000+08:00

woo.
it's 7am in the morning and i'm awake
hahahaha.
my dearest friend kh called me at 640am.
and i still rmb those words.
"come online now. lets play cs"
oh well. gonna go back to sleep soon.
11am gonna play lan.
yawns.

2006-11-17T01:04:00.000+08:00

YAY!
O LEVELS IS OVER.

after the whole 2 weeks of torture.
IT'S TIME TO PARTY.

ok. so after chem we went CRAZY in school.
like idiots shouting.
even though there's still one poor guy taking the paper.

then the guys went down to orchard.
too bad tc couldnt join us.
there was a traffic jam in orchard cause bush was in town -_-
so lanz managed to convince the bus driver to let us off in the middle of the road.
played at cuppage.
the coms there sucked.
oh well.
from about 7pm to 10pm.
we're damn pro.
haha. had bk for dinner and made my way back home.

well. i guess it's party time!
YEAH. lots of planned outings already.
cant wait for 2C'04 4th BBQ/stayover.
it's gonna be a blast.
all the best to whoever is still taking the papers.

2006-11-15T20:22:00.000+08:00

A thousand times I've failed
Still Your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
I'm caught in Your grace
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself
In bringing You praise
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart and my soul
Lord I give You control
Consume me from the inside out
Lord let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love you from the inside out

Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart
Is to bring You praise
From the inside out
Lord my soul cries out

2006-11-05T18:46:00.000+08:00

hmm. i left my ipod on shuffle.
and it played just so happened to play this song.

To watch the leaves grow on the trees
With you is out of question.
I walk into this summer
All alone the usual session.
You feel your instinct then you act
But was it your intention,
To leave me down and broken now
You've ended our ascension.
Yeah.

I still can feel the beach sand in my shoes.
Remember when,
We talked along the ocean's song
'til blue from black fade in?
But that was then I learned to live
Without you far within'.
I ask you why you're back to try
To let me lose again?

You brought me here you wet my taste.
You disappear without a trace.
It wasn't me who made the call.

'Cause now I wanna be.
Where you sleep,
Where you laugh,
Where you breathe.
And I hate to say,
Still I sway.
Brown your eyes,
Gone away.

Should I feel some closure I deserve
If that at least.
And would you be so kind to show
Reasons for your release?
You woke me up from a distant past
I left behind complete.
The message that you sent that night
Now falls to bittersweet.

Was it me my honesty?
You fail to show I never know.
It wasn't me who made the call.

'Cause now I wanna be.
Where you sleep,
Where you laugh,
Where you breathe.
And I hate to say,
Still I sway.
Brown your eyes,
Gone away.

Was it me my honesty?
You fail to show I never know.
You brought me here you wet my taste.
You disappear without a trace.
Did you think I'd ever lead you wrong?
Just know I'll save all of our moments that we are.

Still I wanna be.
Where you sleep,
Where you laugh,
Where you breathe.
And I hate to say,
Still I sway.
Brown your eyes,
Gone away.

Now I wanna be.
Where you sleep,
Where you laugh,
Where you breathe.
And I hate to say,
Still I sway,
Brown your eyes,
Gone away.

You took it all away.

2006-11-02T23:28:00.000+08:00

WOO.
I HAVENT UPDATED IN EONS.
hahahahahah.

so what did i do today?
STUDY.
whats new.
but this time it was in school.
haha. i only seem to go back to school for papers.
well. not this time!
so i met joelynn at 10am in the morning.
yawns.
and i last talked to her like 8 hours before that.
how cool is that?!
so we studied in the library
i did ss
apparently ss has taken me the whole week
and i'm still not done with it.
did an SEQ. handed it up.
and i got 11/12 WOOTS WOOTS!
damn i love my textbook.
LOL.
ok then played soccer after studying.
more like. after giving up on studying.
haha. hosea's first touch = deflection into own goal.
and i didnt even get to touch the ball that game -_-
monday first paper.
i just wanna get it all over and done with damn it.

after Os got dota draft match.
lanz toh's team vs yongzhi's
so fun yeah?
dont bother guessing which team i'm playing on.

2006-10-22T21:09:00.000+08:00

camy auditions today.
it went.
ok i guess?
fine. wasnt that good.
just have to leave the rest to Him.

maybe i should have just tried for guitar.
instead of bass.
i dont have a bass.
i cant practice.
it's like. on the spot getting used to it
just whack only.

cell today was. weird
haha. we had like full house?
but cause the wrong time was given
so everyone turned up at 1015.
and all those involved in service had to leave at 1030 =/

i gotta start studying harder.
SIAN.

2006-10-18T19:10:00.000+08:00

argh.
i cant get myself to study.
physics is killing me.
it's supposed to be one of my better subjects
but after doing the O level paper.
i realised that i dont know alot or forgot alot of things
which is quite terrible
and there aint no answers
damn.

so yesterday was bio prac.
not too badly done i'd say.
other than the stupid fact that i drew 2 vacuoles in the leaf cell.
I REALLY SAW TWO.
took a damn long time to convince myself too.
screwed up la.
but at least i know how to do the planning question.

i'm still making up my mind.
ac or sa?
i cant actually make it in to ac.
but i'm still holding on to that thread of hope.
Zzz.

2006-10-14T22:21:00.000+08:00

ok. so yesterday was the 'last day'
so i decided to finally put up some pics to serve as a rememberance
to this special and emotional day.

lanz and i. i known this bugger for 11 years now. our clique. 2 years of sitting with these bunch of retards! haha. THE FINGER(S). dont learn from the head councilor.
cambodia family. YES WE ARE FAMILY. now aint this a sexy shot? i'm in mid air!me jacq nick. ok. so we're letting the poor girl feel tall... for once.
aaron mr lam me. mr lam! what happened to your leg? 2C'04. by far my favourite class in 10 years. heh.
(i'll put up a nicer pic when i get my hands on it)

4Fselene and i. somehow the cone seems more interesting.

2006-10-07T14:29:00.000+08:00

argh.
i'm falling sick with a bad throat and the haze aint helping.
i pray it'll go away.
cant study as efficient when i'm not feeling well.
not that i started studying btw

i hope i can get in ac for first three months.
by the looks of things cj seems more 'in reach'
and i dont have to be seperated from friends also.
well. i'll hafta wait and see.

i feel kinda lost this few days.
found myself caught in a daze most of the time.

anyway. thursday was a good day.
haha.
we sent orchard after school to play pool
and ate at swensens,
12 guys to celebrate the birthday of ang guo hao.
reach home at ard 10.
really hope the group of us can still stay close after we leave the school.

[Now Playing: The Afters - Beautiful Love]

2006-09-27T21:22:00.000+08:00

got 4 papers back today
in order.
e math, ss, bio, a math
i'm quite disappointed for ss.
well. it's (half of) my only humans and i kinda.
screwed it up.
not like i'm confident for geog anyway.
and bio. argh.
heart pain. 69/100.
horny number eh?
i just cant dig out that one more mark.
damn.

well. english is coming out tmr.
it's the deciding factor whether can go first three months or not.
and my english sucks.
wah lao.
i feel like an idiot.

[iTunes: Breaking Benjamin - Diary of Jane (Acoustic)]

2006-09-23T22:46:00.000+08:00

woo. it's been 2 weeks already?
haha. i survived the damned prelims
might have screwed up alot of papers though.
crap.

yesterday after the ^$!@&#@ bio prac.
went to pizza hut to celebrate gay xuan xuan's birthday.
wahahaha.
then off to ngo's house for mahjong.

today. went to chevrons to bowl.
apparently i've lost my touch.
heh.
at least i'm consistent.
unlike lanz and aaron.
then off to jp for dinner.
ate at pizza hut. YES AGAIN.
i'm gonna go broke.
wait. i already am.
saw a cool pair of puma street soccer shoes.
it looked great la.
but it didnt seem like the long lasting type
or the good to use kinda shoe.
at least it was cheap =/
nike shoes are getting boring.
oh well. needa find a pair soon.

2 more days for 120 mcqs.
wish me luck.

2006-09-10T22:23:00.000+08:00

i shall leave my mark.
for the next 2 weeks and 2 days.
it's the PRELIMS.
shit man.
so i wont be blogging till it's over.

well. i'm supposed to be trying to memorise my SS.
but nth seems to be going in.

anyway. yesterday had kinda an interesting day.
went to nokia care centre and got my phone reformatted.
then to the library@esplanade.
it's quite a cool place if not for the stupid violinist.

then to marina square.
like. wow. it's HUGE
rofl.
had dinner at the foodcourt.
it was TERRIBLE man.
ugh.
at least we bought ben and jerrys and ate it along the way.
or my tastebuds would be dead by now.

yeah. back to studying.

[iTunes: Sugarcult - She's the Blade]

2006-09-08T23:04:00.000+08:00

wahahha.
ok. i'm blogging for once.
cause grace teh forced me to.
rofl

prelims are coming!
WAHAHAH.
i think i'm going psycho.
it's the stress
die die die.
SS. HAVENT FINISH YET
AND IT'S THE FIRST PAPER.

alot of interesting things happened this week.
like. sunday -> pass cd to grace (including breaking benjamin - phobia)
and on monday an incredibly hilarous thing happened.
ok. i shant say it here.
or i'll be called EVIL.

METALLICA. S&M.
WOOT. POWER POWER.
i fell in love with them again.

anyway. my phone tio virus.
dont ask me how.
i'll curse and swear.
going to nokia care centre tmr.
i should change to sony erisson.
HAH. i wish.
yeah yeah.
dont laugh.
i'm using nokia 3310.
cool eh?

[iTunes: Liquid Tension Experiment - Three Minute Warning, Part 2]

2006-09-06T21:14:00.000+08:00

My hands are broken, and time is going on and on, it goes forever.
So I got high and lived all that life that I've taken all for granted.

Promise me you'll try to leave it all behind,
'cause I've elected hell, lying to myself.
Why have I gone blind, live another life.
You.

The only way out is letting your guard down and never die forgotten.
Forgive me, my love, I stand here all alone, and I can see the bottom.

Breaking Benjamin - You.

2006-09-04T20:04:00.000+08:00

mug mug mug
woo!. i'm the WORST person to study with
haha. jacq should know.
i'm the easiest person to get distracted.

well. at least i did work today.
more than i would have accomplished if i stayed home.

i hate ss.

2006-09-03T23:16:00.000+08:00

yawnn.
i should be studying.
i'm thinking too much.
of what used to be.

blink 182 - i miss you
puddle of mudd - blurry
creed - higher
seether - broken

everytime my playlist hits these songs.
i think of the past.
have i let it go yet?
i'm not sure myself.

guess i'll just have to move on.

2006-08-20T22:39:00.000+08:00

i wanted to put up some photos.
but i guess i'm too lazy to upload them.

anyway.
i've been thinking about some stuff.
which links back to what me and sam were talking about last sunday.
well. it's not directly what we talked about
but it can be further interpreted.

i'm bored and tired.
saying 'hey!' or 'hi.'
to pple on msn, face to face or whatever.
it can get tiring.
and sometimes give a wrong impression.
also. if my 'friends' arent playing a part to keep a friendship alive
i guess i shouldnt be the one making all the effort.
thats all i have to say on the matter

other then that.
today we did VIDEO.
YES VIDEO.
for grace 2's auguration service.
it was fun la.
haha.
lanz and i got the big one.
YEAH. those darn mediacorp types.
the tripod was stable.
but ot was stiff
kept jerking when we panned it up and down.
they have like 3 inbuilt videocams la.
it's damn cool.
haha.
wish can do video more.
as they say
the more we screw up the more we learn.

2006-08-19T22:19:00.000+08:00

what the hell la.
turn on the com in the morning.
kena scolded like crap.
you come home.
see me drinking sprite.
kena scolded.
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU.
if you are in a bad mood,
dont take it out on me.
i didnt even say a word to you.
and this is MY life,
not yours.
not like i turned out a juvenile delinquent,
or keep screwing up my tests.

give me a break will you?

2006-08-17T23:14:00.000+08:00

i realised how little i blog.
hah. no mood?
or maybe i just dont wanna share abt what i'm going thru.

anyway.
eng O lvl oral is on monday for me.
my eng is quite crapped up la.
just hope i dont get to nervous
and blank out.

these few days have been kinda weird for me.
maybe i'm just thinking too much.
very emo and easily agitated nowadays.
getting sleepless nights also.
takes me about 1-2 hours,
lying down in bed before i actually fall aslp.
WHY AM I THINKING SO MUCH.
and most of it arent really that impt to me.
or at least i'm trying to shelve them aside.
my spiritual life has been quite stagnant.
it's been like that the whole year.
i know it.
but why am i not doing anything about it?

argh.
i wish this year passes by faster.

2006-08-13T19:21:00.000+08:00

ok. i'm gonna blog.
to keep this place alive.
haha.

yesterday went to planetshakers
i went down to grace II first to meet sam to get my ticket.
then went to get a cam.
and cabbed down to suntec.
$17.10 cab fare. darned traffic jam.
WATCHED WCG!
SINGAPORE VS PHILIPINES
singapore is SCARY man.
haha. wish i would never play against them.
i think i played with one of them before.

so. 5pm supposed to meet
lanz. joelynn. jac. yx. josh lim and esmonde
at city hall.
ended up meeting at 6 plus.
ate carls jr
and ended up at expo late to meet pple.

the planetshakers worship was kinda ok.
abit of hype here and there.
and i didnt know most of the songs.
ohh well.
i felt that hype doesnt mean i myself should not worship.
it just meant that i myself have to be sure of my own reason
why i am singing or jumping.

after the thing. we went to changi to get starbucks.
and rushed back to catch the last train.
haha. had alot of fun yesterday.
wish could do it again.
sometime soon

guest post(:

2006-08-06T19:44:00.000+08:00

8/5/2006	10:26:34 PM	[[sHikEi.]] __as if a glass could contain the sea	i havent updated my blog
8/5/2006	10:26:38 PM	[[sHikEi.]] __as if a glass could contain the sea	go help me update
8/5/2006	10:28:26 PM	`melody!* stand still, look pretty	HELP YOU UPDATE?!
8/5/2006	10:28:36 PM	[[sHikEi.]] __as if a glass could contain the sea	yeah
8/5/2006	10:28:36 PM	[[sHikEi.]] __as if a glass could contain the sea	i'm too siann
8/5/2006	10:28:39 PM	`melody!* stand still, look pretty	LOL
8/5/2006	10:28:43 PM	`melody!* stand still, look pretty	i havent updated mine is ages too pls!
8/5/2006	10:29:31 PM	[[sHikEi.]] __as if a glass could contain the sea	oOo
8/5/2006	10:30:33 PM	`melody!* stand still, look pretty	haha and i wont know what to say if you want me to update your blog (AND I STILL DONT)
8/5/2006	10:30:49 PM	[[sHikEi.]] __as if a glass could contain the sea	go type something like
8/5/2006	10:30:56 PM	[[sHikEi.]] __as if a glass could contain the sea	'ahahaha melody here'
8/5/2006	10:31:08 PM	[[sHikEi.]] __as if a glass could contain the sea	then 'joshua sucks and asked me to update for him'
8/5/2006	10:31:14 PM	[[sHikEi.]] __as if a glass could contain the sea	then just anyhow talk la
8/5/2006	10:31:32 PM	`melody!* stand still, look pretty	LOL you're really dying for me to help you update right
8/5/2006	10:31:36 PM	[[sHikEi.]] __as if a glass could contain the sea	haha (I BET IT MEANS YES!)
8/5/2006	10:31:42 PM	[[sHikEi.]] __as if a glass could contain the sea	www.blogger.com
8/5/2006	10:31:47 PM	[[sHikEi.]] __as if a glass could contain the sea	user XXXXXX(of cos cannot be revealed here)
8/5/2006	10:31:49 PM	[[sHikEi.]] __as if a glass could contain the sea	pw XXXXXXXXXX (this too of cos)
8/5/2006	10:31:50 PM	[[sHikEi.]] __as if a glass could contain the sea	haha
8/5/2006	10:32:08 PM	[[sHikEi.]] __as if a glass could contain the sea	if i die. you must rmb and tell everyone on my blog
8/5/2006	10:33:36 PM	`melody!* stand still, look pretty	oh my gosh you're serious
8/5/2006	10:33:40 PM	`melody!* stand still, look pretty	you really want me to update for you?!

the above conversation has beeen edited SLIGHTLY by yours truly.

and so it goes. yes, he's really serious. so here i am. okay well actually i REALLY dont know what to say. and i havent even update my own blog in ages. but since im the NICEST PERSON EVER, i've decided to honour joshua's blog with my entry. and of cos now he owes me a MILLION AND ONE favours. hur hur. okay there you go joshua toh, i updated!

melody!

2006-07-30T18:43:00.000+08:00

RAGE AWARENESS
phew. i survived 4 services!
it was not all easy going though.
esp first service.
the coms are kinda screwed.

i think i screwed up real bad for first service.
it left me with a gloomy face through worship
and a heavy sense of disappointment.

first. i was supposed to play the video
and the whole com hung!
so video was cancelled.
then i had to restart the com while kendice was praying.
and it was only ready and up at the chorus of the first song.
all my changes to the files were gone.
words werent centralised for the choir members
it looked like a mess.
the flash file destoryed me.
it was over sized for the screen.
ALL THE CHANGES WERE GONE.
and i didnt have time to re-edit them.

thankfully,
the rest of the services went well and smoothly for projection.
thank God.
i guess for the first service.
i relied on myself too much.
i double checked everything and forgot my reason for service.
maybe thats God's way of reminding me to refocus myself.

after service. went for lunch at tiong bahru plaza.
while walking to the mrt from church.
a whole tree branch dropped off and landed like a metre in front us
imagine. 2 more steps faster and i'd be in the hospital now.
it's scary.
now that's a near death experience.

well. now i'm home.
with my blistered fingers,
from playing the rusty school bass yesterday.
i hope chapel will go well for my class.
and i'm reminded to dedicate it to the Lord.
our last practice felt...
weird.
i dont really know why.

2006-07-25T21:09:00.000+08:00

SICK.
i'm still sick.
not in the mind la.
so i didnt go to sch again.
yeah. i had a LONG weekend.
but being sick aint the greatest feeling.
I'VE HARDLY DONE ANYTHING THE WHOLE DAY.
well, it's back to school tmr.
i dont wanna go for pe.
rugby aint my sport.

i realised.
too much sleep makes me tired.
too little sleep makes me tired too.
and it's impossible for me to get the right amout of sleep.
so basically,
i'm always tired =/

oh yar,
seems like everyone's getting some flu bug.
and our wonderful class comm was brought down to 2/4 today
cool eh?

2006-07-24T22:03:00.000+08:00

OKAY!
SAY SAY SAY!
HOOOOOOOOOO!

this is gonna be my new blog.
amazing thing is that thinking up the url
takes more time than the design =/

and yeah. i'm gonna try to keep this one
as alive as i can.
(not like the previous blog)

yar. and i'm sick.
aint a good feeling.
i'm dying of boredom.
and it's 2 days mc.
damn.
(not like i really like school anyway)